A Bedtime Story for Lucas: The Story of Minnie

Part II - Humans Must Find Homes, Too

Minnie came to live with the boy and girl, in what they considered to be a very small apartment. But Minnie was a little cat, and to her every place in the world was exciting and huge! There was only one teensy-weensy little problem with this new home, and his name was "Big Meats". Big Meats was a huge brown cat who was not at all happy to see Minnie come into HIS home.



"Go home!" he'd hiss, and whump his tail back-and-forth ferociously. "B-b-but this IS my home now...I thought?" Minnie would stammer. Like before, Minnie didn't really like this other cat. But, the humans had brought her home to be with him, so she thought "I will do what I can to be friends with Big Meats. After all, I don't want to bother the humans or they'll send me away."

Very shortly after Minnie came to live with the humans, the girl fell ill. "Oh no!" Minnie cried, "Was it something I did?" Big Meats didn't seem to care about the girl's illness, so Minnie felt it was her duty to make sure the girl was okay. She'd rest by her all day and all night, with a watchful eye.



Big Meats saw Minnie's dedication to the girl, and even though he couldn't be bothered to watch over the girl himself, he thought better of Minnie and began to like her more each day. Before long, things started to change. Soon, Big Meats and Minnie became the best of friends. The girl got better, and grew into a woman, and the boy grew into a man.

One day, the humans decided it was time for a great big change. They packed away all of their things, and more people showed up to help them. Minnie and Big Meats were both very scared, so they huddled together and watched the frenzy. "What's going on?" Minnie asked.
"I've seen this before, but only once," Big Meats replied, "It's called moving. We're going somewhere new. I wonder if the next place will be bigger like last time!"
Minnie thought to herself, "I sure hope they don't forget about us!" But of course they wouldn't forget. The man and the woman loved Minnie and Big Meats, and together they were a family.



Big Meats was right, and in a big way. This new home was HUGE and BEAUTIFUL. It had all the space they could ever want to run and play, and lovely things to admire outside. Minnie recalled the long trip to the new home. "Do you think we'll ever move again, Big Meats?"
"No" he said, "This time was different. I think this is our forever home."

A Bedtime Story for Lucas: The Story of Minnie

Let me tell you a little story. This story is about a little cat. This cat was named Minnie, and unlike most cats that you hear about, Minnie didn't have nine lives. In fact, she only had one life. But what an amazing life she had.

Part I - Finding Home

Minnie was born a stray on the streets of San Jose, in the year 2004. She lived her life studying birds and people, and loved shiny things. She especially loved lights. Every night, she would look up at the stars and wonder how they twinkled so very brightly. Every day, she would bask in the sunlight next to a bus stop bench when people weren't around. Minnie liked people, but had never met one before, up close. So she was afraid, and she stayed away.

Minnie occasionally saw other cats, but didn't like them very much. The other cats were mean and dirty, but not Minnie. Minnie was a dainty lady cat. Instead of eating the food she found right off the ground, Minnie would copy the people she watched, and eat with her hands. One day, Minnie was eating with her hands, when another cat saw her and got mad at her. "Hey you! Stop that! Cats don't eat with their hands!" "I do", she said defiantly. The other cat got mad and pounced on her. But Minnie had never been in a fight, so she didn't know what to do. Instead, she just cried out for help, and the bigger mean cat got scared and ran away.

After the other cat attacked her, she never quite felt the same. She was moodier and hungrier, and needed more rest. One cold February night, it started raining. Minnie had never seen rain before, and didn't know what to do. So, she found a cardboard box to take cover in. Minnie hid and cried, but she was so very tired. But, just as she started to nod off, she heard human voices! "Oh no!" she thought, and tried to scramble out of the box. But, she was so very tired, and couldn't get away. The humans put her back in the box, and carried the box to their car.

Minnie wasn't sure how much time had passed, but it sure must have been a long time. As it turned out, she had been so tired and hungry because she was pregnant with kittens! She gave birth to those kittens, and nursed them for many weeks. Eventually, the kittens were ready to go off on their own, as kitty cats do, and the humans helped the kittens find homes with other humans. Minnie liked the humans who took care of her, but they acted very hurried and worried, and this made Minnie nervous. Minnie got sick for awhile, and then got better. Many humans came by to see her, and that made her happy. But, none of the humans ever wanted to take her to see their home. "That's okay," Minnie thought to herself, "I'd just get in the way, and I don't want to bother them."

One day, a young pair of humans, one boy and one girl, came to visit her together. Minnie saw them, and thought "They sure look nice!" The boy and girl both took notice of Minnie, and the girl even said, "Aww, she's perfect!" But, like everyone else, they soon walked away to look at the other cats. Minnie laid back down, asking herself why she thought this time would be any different. But it was! It was different this time, because no sooner had Minnie laid down did the boy and girl came back, and this time they said, "She's the one. We want her!" One of the humans that took care of Minnie opened the door and picked her up, but Minnie was so excited to jump into the arms of the girl that she accidentally scratched the human holding her. "Oh no!" she thought, "They'll change their mind for sure!" But they didn't, because Minnie WAS the one for them, and they the ones for her.

The Perfect Dilbert Movie Live Action Cast

Like most people in IT or software development, two things are very close to my heart: Office Space, and Dilbert. While I think a sequel to Office Space is pretty improbable for the mid-term future, it looks like a live action Dilbert movie is in the works. I would like to submit my ideal cast for the pickings:

Dilbert:	Drew Carey

If you read the strip and are familiar with the actor, this should be obvious. I'm not even going to address it.

Wally:	Jason Alexander

I've seen Jason Alexander on broadway, and he is an amazing actor. Obviously most people know him from Seinfeld, or more recently from Jenny Craig commercials. Anyway, he's a spot-on match for the character's appearance, and I see no reason why he couldn't play the role of the lazy-but-brilliant engineer.

Pointy-Haired Boss:	Zach Galifiankis

Probably the selection I'll get the most flak for, should anyone actually read this. Zach Galifiankis is absolutely perfect as the oblivious more-trouble-than-he's-worth boss. His acting skills are superb, and hey, he's even got the natural hair for the role.

Alice	Isla Fisher

Another likely-controversial pick. Isla Fisher played "that crazy chick" in Wedding Crashers. For those not as familiar with the strip, Alice is a brilliant engineer who never gets credit she deserves, and can rage like nobody's business. I think Fisher is plenty capable of the role. And please, don't imitate the hairstyle.

Asok	Dileep Rao

Dileep Rao was in two fantastic movies of 2010 recently, but due to his weight loss you might not recognize him. He played one of the main scientists in Avatar, and a central role in Inception as the "chemist". He may not perfectly fit the role of the "young intern" but I think he can nail the role of being the one guy at the office actually trying to get his work done.

Dogbert & Catbert	Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter

I honestly think that instead of making the same horrible mistake as Garfield, Dogbert and Catbert need to be a near complete departure from their comic strip form. Contrary to the strip, these characters should have zero real interaction with the live actors in the movie, and be figments of Dilbert's imagination that plague him like the cliche good/bad consciences. That being said, since Dilbert is an engineer, his consciences are obviously going to be very, very intelligent. I can think of nobody more perfect to fill such a role than the two world champions of Jeopardy.

And another year goes by...

Holy crap, it's 2011. 2010 brought some strange new milestones to my life. In December of 2009 I sprung a surprise anniversary trip to France on my wife. She finally returned to work in March, which allowed me to start investing in stocks for the first time. I still work in the heavy oil/steam flood industry, and am still on the same project developing cheap SCADA solutions, as before. During the summer, I trained my first intern, which was considerably more difficult than I ever would have imagined. I now wear prescription glasses. Toward the end of summer, my team was given our own office building nextdoor to the main office, partially to reward us for our dedication and self-sufficiency, and partially to have us guard the new warehouse out back. In October, Lily ran her first marathon in San Francisco. As a finishing gift, I bought her a new awesome car. It's been pretty nuts.

I'm hoping that I can find the time and dedication to post more frequently this year, as my child is being developed. Maybe this blog will turn into some kind of "tech dad" site. Who knows?